Hello, and welcome to Nadi Abdi talks Writing, Reading, and Politics. I’m Nadi Abdi, author of Power of the People: The Demon Cleaner book one.
My first lines aren’t compelling. I focus more on setting the scene. Typically that scene will be opposite of what’s going on. I call this the Warren G Technique. I will never forget the cool, relaxed feeling of that first line, “It was a clear black night, a clear white moon” only to then be thrust into a robbery and a shootout.
That’s the blueprint for how I write most of my longer scenes and stories. Although, if a scene starts wild, it will probably get wilder. I’ve never started a scene with a shootout that ended with tea and cake. I have started scenes with tea and cake that ended in a shootout. Although, to be fair, if you start a scene with a shootout, there’s really no calming that down. Even if, say, it was a good ol fashioned water gun fight, the adrenaline is still high even if the stakes aren’t. You just end the scene on a laugh instead of in the back of a cruiser or EMS.
Anyway, the point is, it’s a common discussion among writers (who are also avid readers) that you focus on your first line. That’s how you hook your reader. And while that is a valid argument and technique, I feel like the importance of vibes doesn’t get enough play.
“The night was cool and clear, ” is the first line from Power of the People. We find out two chapters later that this scene ended with the deaths of nine people. (It’s not a spoiler. The entire novel is about finding out who killed them and how. It’s in the synopsis.) “Lillas sat, wearing a cute black dress and afro puffs, bound with shiny black ribbons,” is the first line from Legacy of Lillas. She was at her family’s funeral. (Also not a spoiler. Her family’s death is talked about the entire series. It’s also in the synopsis.) The funeral breaks down, then her whole life breaks down. I could’ve started PotP with some detail about the victims’ deaths, could’ve started LoL with the fight that happened at the funeral. And both would’ve been valid options. But I chose to introduce the scene and show the contrast in setting versus what happens in it.
When starting a new project, or introducing a new major element or scene into the story, I think about what I want my reader to think or feel before revealing the situation. Oftentimes, I choose calm over chaos. I want my reader to feel safe, like they’re about to experience a great time or get a massage. Meanwhile, the iceberg is coming.
Now, you could very easily start with the iceberg, like, “Let me tell you about this ship that ran into an iceberg and how I survived by floating on a wooden plank while watching my lover freeze to death.” There’s so much story packed into that first line. And yes, you immediately side against the speaker (because who in the hell does that?), but you’re in. You’re 100% ready to hear whatever’s going down. (No pun intended, but we got there anyway.)
I, personally, might start focused on the band, the type of music they were playing, the food that was on the tables, the desserts being served. Elements that would highlight the care, detail, and money that was in that room. Then I’d move on to the screams, the tilt of the ship, the way the expensive lights went dead right before everyone else did. Again, both valid techniques.
I do feel like the Warren G Technique takes more trust from the reader. They have to trust that at the end of the scene, you have shown, or at least given a glimpse of, what they’re here for, what they can expect from the rest of this story, where you’re going with this idea, etc. Some readers and reviewers have said first lines have caused them to DNF a book. (I don’t remember what the lines were. Probably something crazy.) So, definitely take into consideration what that first line’s going to be and how it’s going to make your reader want to join you on a walk through the woods.
That’s it for today. Thanks for reading. Come back next week. We’ll discuss how waiting for the right story stunted my growth as a writer. I’m Nadi Abdi. See you later.
Read more by Nadi Abdi
The Demon Cleaner
Black Women in Fantasy
Nadi Abdi
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