However, technically, it’s still Monday so I’m still kinda on time…kinda.

Write an opening using: I’m in a half-full bottle of water.

It’s times like these when I feel like I’m in a half-full bottle of water. My boss is blathering on about something that I’m pretty sure has nothing to do with me or my department and I’m just sitting in the bottle, waiting for him to swallow me up and poop me out. The clock just moves sooo slowly. That’s how you know office meetings were created by the devil. If they were good for you, the time would move quickly.

Oh God, he’s got a PowerPoint. Mitchum will rue the day he taught that man to use that program. And his ass ain’t even here. Every time we have a PowerPoint all any of us come away with is a clear understanding that our boss has a serious case of ADD compounded with a narcissistic sense of self and his own power in the universe.

As I pretend to take notes on today’s update on how rich my broke ass is making the company, I come to a realization. The only difference between me and my boss, I could actually be great at his job. Damn, why am I the one sitting in the bottle? I should be the one making the bottles. As he turns to my direction he says…”Keller, any ideas on how we can raise our bottom line?”

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**Exercise from 500 5-Minute Writing Exercises. Get the whole book here.**